Our trip to Barcelona was cancelled due to french air strikes over the easter holidays so we decided to book a relaxing 5 day break to the costa del sol for some much needed sol and chill time - not to be confused with the relentless, tinder fuelled phrase of our generation - Netflix and chill. After a frantic final year at university filled with deadline stresses and panics about the future we were more than ready to pack up our bags with books that claimed to be “perfect for by the pool”, flimsy flip flops and the ever important SPF and head off to Spain.
Despite the excitement, we were admittedly plagued with an arguably irrational yet common fear of the bikini’s that we would also have to buy and wear in front of other human beings in an ever so near two months time. To some of you lovely readers this may be a minor, insignificant detail involved in the holiday, and if so that's great we applaud your positive attitude and self esteem! To us however, the idea of the bikini formed panic and stress almost as equal to that of completing an assignment or a pitch presentation at University.
- Nope, Nah, No, Not one tiny bit.
In the two months that followed up to the highly anticipated holiday, we found ourselves stumbling in and out of this bid to try and become what all the magazines and Instagram #bodyinspo posts dictate as “bikini ready”. We wrestled back and forth with what we really wanted to achieve and therefore became increasingly distracted from our supposedly healthy diets (coco pops, bacon and pizza are always to blame). We ventured in and out of fads, from slim fast shakes which left us practically hallucinating burgers and ice cream at around 4pm, to our least favourite fad “No carbz, before marbz”. Any TOWIE fans from back in the Mark and Lauren days will remember this allegedly motivating phrase created during the female cast’s bid to look “Reem” in Marbella. Now, we are not stupid girls, (throwback to Pink’s 2009 cracker of a tune) we know that bread has a bad rep in the health and fitness world, it’s pretty much been branded as the devil! We know we should just suck it up and learn to love Quinoa, and pearl barley and all things bland but the point is we just don’t want to... at least not all of the time.
The closer we were getting to our time abroad we began to realise that we were not going to see any more substantial physical changes and decided to admit defeat to the “bikini ready” expectations which were enabling us to feel so god damn shitty. There is no hiding it, we do not fall into the stereotypical washboard abs and tiny bubble butt category however we know that we are not on the opposite end of the spectrum which promotes obesity and an unhealthy lifestyle either. We’re just sitting somewhere in-between, floating along the blurred lines of a healthy body image and unrealistic expectations.
The trick to coping with all this pressure for perfection is to realise that quite honestly no one else gives two turtle shits about how you look in a bikini except you! If you can accept that extra roll when you sit up on the sun lounger, that extra water spilled when you cannon ball into the pool and that extra suncream needed to protect that fine ass, then who’s to say you’re not bikini ready?
We really wanted to include a positive, carefree image of us in our swimwear however the focus setting on the camera decided that the stone that it was leaning against was far more photogenic... so who are we to judge?!
And with that deep and meaningful rhetorical question out in the open, we shall leave you with 3 non - bikini related life lessons we suggest you strongly consider whilst on your holiday/vacation this summer!
1. Never drink the champagne after a day of tequila sunrise cocktails even if you did beat "Jean's Devils" at the hotel bingo - you will spend the entire next day under an umbrella in foetal position cradling your throbbing headache.
2. Reflective sunglasses are great for disguising a wondering eye whilst people watching at the beach because you never get caught (admit it, we all do it).
3. Lastly, we beg you readers, please do not be that person who wakes up at the crack of dawn and stumbles down to the pool area half asleep to reserve a row of sun beds before sneaking back to bed until after lunch. We don't reserve tables at restaurants with towels so why should it work as a form of reservation on holiday, None of that thank you!
